Wednesday 24 July 2024: Feeling old

First I noticed that my thigh muscles are not as strong as they were. Then I realised that my core isn’t very strong either. I’ve never been one for loads of exercise. I’ve never really had much stamina. But I was always strong. Now old age seems to be creeping up on me. And the weight has been creeping up on me for about 5 years, maybe longer.

I don’t eat a huge amount, I really don’t. I’ve done food diaries and various diets to death. They don’t work. Or they work for a short while, and then stop working, even when I’m still doing it religiously. I’ve had blood tests. Everything is ‘normal’. I have a hiatus hernia, gallstones, eczema, psoriasis and a slipped vertebra, but nothing that would put weight ON.

We’ve tried different ‘lifestyle diets’ too, but nothing works. I’ve already stopped giving money to the diet industry. Diets don’t work. But nor, or so it seems, do lifestyle changes.

I thought perhaps it was exercise that was lacking. But last week, I walked every single day. And when I wasn’t walking, I was playing with an energetic dog, in the garden or in the house. And yet…I didn’t lost a single sausage – other than the one from the chippy that the dog nicked!

(Not really. That was a joke.) (He didn’t nick it, we bought him his own…)

We’ve both been looking at the garden and we’ve both felt a bit daunted by the amount of work. When he was furloughed, in 2020, the poet spent almost the entire time outside in the garden and he grew a lot of our own vegetables. Now he looks at the amount of work that needs doing and is overwhelmed. Neither of us has the stamina or the energy to tackle it. We’re both feeling a bit old. And we’re both gaining weight.

I’ve done some searching online, but I really don’t like being referred to as a ‘senior’. Perhaps the word is too close to the word ‘senile’. I’m not allowed to ‘retire’ until I’m 67, the poet 66. So how are we already ‘seniors’? Also, even the ‘Over 55’ stuff depicts people in their 80s. Not that there’s anything wrong with people in their 80s, it’s just not us. Not yet.

Yes, old age comes to us all, if we’re lucky. It doesn’t mean we have to like it. But I need to shift this weight or I’ll be much older and far less active long before my time. I’m just at a loss now for what to do.

I can’t do full yoga, because of the hiatus hernia and the slipped vertebra. I’ll have to find something else to do.

Anyway, after falling down that particular rabbit hole yesterday, when I already have so much to do this week, I finally started work. I finalised yesterday’s blog post, chose a picture, and published it all. And I updated the wordcount spreadsheets with Monday’s words and pages. I only wrote 1,214 new words on Monday, but at least I edited 40 pages.

I turned the day on its head again and started with the editing job, just because I want it off my desk by Friday. It’s the only thing I worked on all day, aside from the blog posts. And by the end of it I’d cleared 56 pages. I have 53 pages left, and then I can transfer the hard copy edits to screen.

Today we start by taking my car for its MOT. When we collect it, we take the poet’s car to the garage in Doncaster.